Mandy’s Blog October 27th

I’m going to visit Gilbert White’s house near Selborne. I went there a few years ago and wrote a poem in the garden. It is autumn, as it was before.

Two free tickets to see ‘Lorca’ performance at Duke of York’s, Tues Oct 30th

 We’ve got a great offer for you especially for Friends of THE SOUTH – the  Duke of Yorks Picturehouse, Brighton, are offering two free tickets to Keith James’ performance of Lorca next Tuesday 30th October at 8.45 pm (usual ticket price £12.50). Frederico Garcia Lorca, who was murdered during the Spanish Civil War, is one of the most beloved and influential of all modern poets. This concert, featuring Lorca’s poetry set to music, is performed by Keith James and Rick Foot, whose very successful ‘The Songs of Nick Drake’ toured the Picturehouse network to capacity crowds between 2004 and 2007. The evening will also include material by those who followed Lorca, namely Leonard Cohen, Joni Mitchell, Tim Buckley and Nick Drake. There will also be a screening of the authoritative biopic GARCIA LORCA: A DEATH IN GRANADA, containing the only remaining footage of the poet himself.

The two tickets will be available to the first Friend who calls the office on 01273 571 700 or emails ella@thesouth.org.uk. Good luck!

JUST TO SAY HELLO AND POST A POEM

I am looking forward to contacting other Friends of The South now the blog is up and running. My primary interest is poetry which I just love reading (currently Raymond Carver, Les Murray and Charles Bukowski are my favourites). I attach a recent poem below and hope you enjoy it.

REJECTION SLIPS

1.

Dear Mr Wood.

Thank you for sending us your work.

I needed something to put my coffee on.

Are they a joke? Your poems are dull.
I am sorry to disappoint you.

Your poems lack insight and energy.

Stop writing and do something useful.
I’d be lying if I said loved your work.

You’re a loon who can’t even spell.

I have read the poems. Have you?
Your drivel deserves to be rejected.

Your poems remind me of false teeth

or wading through an infested swamp.
Thanks for wasting my fucking time.

I have disposed of your poems.

They are too cerebral and/or terrible.

I am moving both office and home.

I am going blind. I have the plague.

Please don’t send any more poems.

2.

Dear Mr Wood.

You’re a couplet short of a sonnet.

You’re one scream short of an orgasm.

You’re on full throttle with an empty tank.
You’re a flower short of an arrangement.

You’ve the mental agility of clotted cream.

Your mind wandered and never came back.
You’re poems are like bird shit.

You’re goalie for a snooker team.

You’re reading from an empty disk.
You’re immune all stimulants.

You’ve some bugs in your software.

You’re all foam and no beer.
If brains were taxed you’d get a rebate.

You’re don’t have both oars in the water.

You’re a pane short of a window.
You’re one step short of the loft.

You’re a sentence short of a chapter.

You’re a violin minus the bow.

3.

Dear Mr Wood

I have taken out an injunction

to prevents you sending poems

that include such lines as:
He rises early, walks to the lake and leaves rubbish.

My kingdom for a horse but the kingdom’s already lost.

The grass is counting the days we’ve been together.
The barman plays tills applauded only by hand-pumps.

His trousers defended by the England back four.

Fish on the lake’s bottom dream of deckchairs.
At night the house relaxes by loosening its stays.

After the exit worms devour him but not from love.

A lover enters my heart like a rose but no dog barks.
Shopping trolleys piled high with unwanted bibles

His breath is brighter than the moon or a light bulb.

He smokes cigarettes the size of Ponderosa Pines.
There’s nothing funny about my year of manufacture.

From across town the smell of cut grass and cresote.

The airplanes overhead are like geese flying south.

Writing retreat in West Sussex – 20% off for Friends of THE SOUTH!

Tonya Blowers is running a residential writing and yoga retreat at stunning Duncton Mill, West Sussex, and has offered Friends of THE SOUTH a 20% discount.

The retreat runs from Sunday 17th – Wednesday 20th June and is a perfect opportunity to get away from it all give yourself time and space to write. You should come back with renewed enthusiasm and lots of ideas for how to take your writing forward.

Cost for Friends of THE SOUTH: £300 for shared room, £340 for double (down from £375 and £425).  Price includes full board and accomodation for three nights, writing and yoga workshops and taxi from Pulborough Station.

Tonya Blowers is an inspirational and innovative writing tutor with over twenty years experience of lecturing and researching in universities, colleges and schools.

For more information go to www.wordplay.org.uk or phone Tonya on 020 8992 5741/07946 569123, or email Tonya@wordplay.org.uk.

Blog to Blog

Check out THE SOUTH’s own blog – www.thesouth.wordpress.com – where John Davies and Ella Burns log their week working at Brighton Writers’ Centre and out and about on projects. Last week highlights included the Spring Board Meeting of THE SOUTH and an update meeting on Brighton Poetry Festival in October 2007.

Make the most of your friendship!

Friends of THE SOUTH – you can start submitting your own contributions straight away.

Sign up as a user and add your own comments and creative writing. It’s really easy. You can also add links to your own webpage and other sites of interest. Anyone can see the Friends blog but only Friends can contribute to it.
Just between Friends – start blogging today!

Welcome, Friends of THE SOUTH

Hello and welcome! As a Friend of THE SOUTH you can contribute your news, express your point of view and network with other friends. You can also upload examples of your work, although the final decision on publication lies with the moderator. This is your blog to use as you wish, so start submitting now!